Twitter LinkedIn Facebook
Complete Harmony
call: 07751 942234

Reducing Guilt to Manage Your Stress

by Sharon Taylor

This month my focus is on Managing Your Stress and Anxiety levels. Feelings of guilt play a big part in increasing stress and anxiety levels so it’s important to be able to recognise what events trigger these feelings and learn how to manage them better.

I remember back in the early 2000s multi-tasking was a big buzz phrase. If you weren’t doing several things at a time, then you weren’t working hard enough! I’m not a fan of multi-tasking. For me, I felt that I was doing lots of things at the same time but not doing any of them to the best of my ability – spinning all those plates and juggling all those balls. Feeling guilty about having so much to do and not having enough time to fully dedicate to each – mainly family time, socialising with friends and my work. Multi-tasking did suit some people but the perfectionist in me wouldn’t allow me to do what I considered to be half-a-job.

When you have demands on your time from many different areas it’s not always easy to be supportive and available to everyone. Demands from such areas as:

too much to do can need to feeling guilty

 

  • an intense job
  • a young family
  • caring responsibilities for older members of the family.

 

Some people are naturally people-pleasers, but you can end up feeling guilty when you’re not able to meet sometimes unrealistic demands on your time and energy from yourself and from others.

Feeling guilty can affect all areas of your life and show itself in many different ways that you may not recognise at first.

  • In your health – with headaches and migraines, bouts of IBS and increased blood pressure.
  • At work – burning the candle at both ends will result in sleep deprivation which can lead to brain-fog, slower reactions, self-doubt about your ability to do a good job.
  • With your family & friends – you become short-tempered, irritable and snappy around them.

It all starts with YES!

  1. You say yes to a night out when you would rather be at home doing something more relaxing.
  2. You say yes to working late on a project at work because it’s in your nature to finish what you’ve started.
  3. You say yes to being on that committee because you enjoy being involved with what’s going on.
  4. You say yes to doing something with the children or for a family member because you feel you don’t do enough with or for them.

Get the picture? People start seeing you as the go-to-person if they want something done as you always get the job done and never say no. You are always at their beck-and-call and they feel that you enjoy being their ‘Fourth Emergency Service’. It’s not about saying no and not getting involved, it’s about recognising when your default is to people-please. A busy person will always be asked to do more so it’s up to you to set the boundaries.

Setting boundaries

We’ve just had Selfcare September and setting boundaries around your time spent supporting others will help you to establish your selfcare routine. You can still download my selfcare ideas chart here.

Three things to help reduce feeling guilty

  1. Prioritise your time and activities

Be realistic and set aside time each week for things you would like to do with family, for family, for yourself, with friends and work commitments.

  1. Keep a diary

It helps to keep you on track. Also, when you’re feeling guilty about not doing enough, this will help you (and others) to see how much you have done. It’s also useful to give yourself some thinking time when someone asks for help. You can say you need to check your diary.

  1. Have routines

If you don’t have a morning or bedtime routine introduce them and share these with others in the household who may need to know. Inject some fun into the routines if you can as it takes away some of the seriousness of them. A morning routine will help to start your day on a positive note and a bedtime routine will help you to have a better nights’ sleep.

Once you’ve set your boundaries and start living by them, you and others will start to have respect for your time. You and others with start to recognise how much you are doing in many different areas of your life. You’ll have more self-confidence, feel more in control and be in a better position to manage your stress and anxiety levels that arise from unnecessary feels of guilty.

About Sharon

Therapist, Sharon Taylor, Tamworth, KnowleSharon lives with her partner Geoff in Warwickshire and they have two adult children. She worked for over 25 years in an office environment, gaining qualifications to degree level in finance, business and management. While there Sharon witnessed and experienced many stressful situations and suffered illnesses which were stress related.

Sharon was advised to make some changes to her lifestyle which included trying complementary therapies. After experiencing the benefits of complementary treatments, Sharon decided to retrain and to share her knowledge and experiences to help others recognise and manage their own physical and emotional stress and anxiety levels.

Sharon has been working as a complementary therapist for over 12 years now, and she loves helping people manage and reduce their stress levels, to feel uplifted, focused, positive and empowered about their lives.

Twitter Our Twitter Feed @SharonHolistic

Follow Us On:

Twitter LinkedIn Facebook

Share This Website: